How Not to Read

The Last Stupid Book You’ll Ever Need to Read

Don’t want to slog through lengthy old books like A Tale of Two Cities or The Giving Tree? Sick of being judged by your avid-reader “friends” who talk about books you’ve never heard of? Want to sound smarter without the strain of actually bettering yourself? Never fear. In How Not to Read, you’ll find techniques to fake your way through literature so you never have to read another book—ever!

Inside, you’ll find:

•Tips for getting through anything you have to read by reading faster: Just read every third word. (One Hundred Years of Solitude becomes “Many as the Colonel was, that when him ice.” Wow! It’s like a Gertrude Stein poem only more comprehensible!)

•Entire genres summed up in a single page: Historical fiction becomes “Guess who else had sex: Hitler!”

•Literary insults to make yourself seem smarter: “The only thing sadder than you is a Joycean epiphany!” “You’re as weak as a passive sentence written in negative form. And probably not considered by anyone to be worth more than an adverb.”

It’s time to stop fearing those people who keep bringing up Ayn Rand. How Not to Read is here to liberate the world from ever needing to read a book again.

Standard and Primary covers are widely available through general retailers. They often have higher print runs and can be cheaper, especially during sales.

In contrast, Direct Market (DM) and variant covers are primarily sold in comic shops. DM editions tend to have more limited availability and may be more valuable to collectors.

The main differences lie in artwork style, availability, price, and collector appeal. Ultimately, the choice between standard and variant covers depends on personal preference, budget, and individual collecting goals.

Comic book enthusiasts have various formats to choose from when collecting their favorite stories.
Here's a brief overview of the main types:

Omnibus

• Large, hardcover collections
• Usually contain complete runs or extensive story arcs
• Typically 800-1000+ pages
• Higher price point, often €100-€150

Oversized Hardcover (OHC)

• Similar dimensions to omnibus, but thinner
• Collect shorter runs or story arcs
• Usually 300-600 pages
• Priced between €30-€50

Hardcover (HC)

• Standard-sized hardcover books
• Collect 6-12 issues typically
• Similar dimensions to single issues, but with a hard cover
• Priced around €25-€35

Trade Paperback (TP)

• Softcover collections
• Standard comic book size
• Usually collect 4-6 issues
• Most affordable option, typically €15-€25

Other Formats

• Absolute Editions: Oversized, deluxe hardcovers (mainly DC Comics)
• Compendiums: Massive paperback collections
• Graphic Novels (OGN/GN): Original stories not previously released as single issues

The choice between these formats often depends on personal preference, budget, and collecting goals. Omnibus and OHC editions offer larger artwork and more content but at a higher price, while TPs provide a more affordable way to collect complete story arcs